Thursday 7 June 2007

Not quite Sir Lancelot or the King

Pamela has evidently conferred with Roland on the subject of the party I am to hold for Frances, and has decided that on the whole they think they will probably attend. Not that Pamela herself quite sees the point of it, mind! She says - or rather Roland does - that it will turn out be just another in a long line of carefully constructed prevarications.

“It will be just one deferral after another, don’t you see?” is the way Pamela sees it. “Oh, he is nothing if not ingenious with his reasons, I’ll give him that! He’s had years of practice in prevaricating from the pulpit for a start – and what better preparation for an indefinitely prolonged engagement could there possibly be than that? But Roland says – and I’m inclined to agree with him – that when it comes to actually marrying Frances, there’ll always be just one more important thing to be accomplished first.”

These remarks came as something of a shock to me, I have to admit it. It seems to me that Pamela must be nursing a bruised spirit indeed, when she can talk about clergymen prevaricating from the pulpit! There was a time, and not so very far distant at that, when no such anti-clerical aspersion would have passed her lips. Nor do I give any credence to the idea that Roland could have soared to such conversational flights as the ones she attributes to him: it’s very much more likely that Pamela herself has sat down to prepare them for my benefit in advance.

No, I think that what Pamela actually sees in the party is a genuine hat opportunity. A sunny afternoon in a garden after all – and in my garden at that, where no dress code prevails, and there are no unwritten rules. What better opportunity could there possibly be for her to sally forth in her largest and best? And who would I be to deny her the joy of it, after her humiliation at the hands of the Macauleys? She does just wonder if Lady and Miss Macauley will be attending the pre-engagement party though? But on that score I have had to disappoint her; the old lady and Belle having all inconveniently gone away to their place in the country for two weeks.

My own little garden is meanwhile in process of being transformed into something resembling the Vauxhall Gardens – or a stage set for the production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Frances’s grandmother’s tables and chairs arrived yesterday; and very pretty indeed in the Edwardian style they look, arranged at intervals all the way down the lawn. An arbour of roses is just about to be constructed, too. Some men arrived with a lorry-load of trellis panels early yesterday – I awoke to hear Bill in altercation with them at the gate. ”Over his dead body”, I heard him bellow, was any such contrivance going up in either of our gardens! And where was their written authority anyway, for delivering trellises at such an ungodly hour?

Going up they are, nonetheless. Frances herself arrived all pink and apologetic hot on the heels of the delivery men, and somehow managed, if not entirely to silence, then at least to mollify Bill’s loud explosion of wrath. The idea had been all her own, she hurriedly explained. She had hoped to be able to warn us before the delivery men arrived; and in her failure to do so hardly knew how to apologise enough! But she had had this little idea, you see - or rather, David had had it: he was so original when it came to matters of this sort… Between them, at any rate, they had come up with the idea of making the garden look like the old Orchard at Grantchester - where David had been so fond of sitting to meditate, in his Cambridge undergraduate days.

She was sure Bill would be glad when he saw how entirely charming it would look when completed. They had had this vision of the garden as a series of extended vistas, culminating in a rose arbour, didn’t he see? So pleasant for people to wander about in, they’d thought - taking their refuge beneath the roses in the arbour when they would. And of course Bill could always have it pulled down afterwards if he wished. Frances would undertake its demolition herself indeed: he would have nothing whatever to worry about on that score.

I could see only too clearly what Bill thought of the idea of David Porteous’s taking it upon himself to recreate the Old Orchard at Grantchester in my garden. Further even than that, I could see that the unpleasant suspicion must have arisen in his mind that he and David Porteous had probably been undergraduates at Cambridge at roughly the same time – so that he might actually be expected to sit down and engage in reminiscence with the man! But Bill’s rages tend to be short-lived, and in any case he has never been able to refuse Frances anything. She asks for so very little after all; and so he finally gave way gracefully enough. He only turned to mutter, as he went off to collect Monty for his walk, that we could what we would with the garden (I noted that I had become complicit in its transformation now.) We could erect a full-blown fantastic Victorian conservatory plumb in the middle of it if that was what we wished. Just so long as we didn’t ask him to stand round to watch it going up!

I went off with Frances to the manor house after that; she wanted me to see all the 'little improvements’ that David has instituted there. David himself was absent at the time; having gone up to London to visit his elder daughter Julia, who has moved into what her father considers a thoroughly unsuitable flat. “She’s a rather wayward girl apparently” Frances explained as we went. “Inclined to be confrontational you know. So different from gentle Anne, who has never given him a moment’s trouble in her life. But poor David finds Julia quite a trial. And the flat, you know – above a shop in Baker Street; what could possibly be noisier, or more impractical than that?”

I rejoiced, I confess it, at the idea that there was a confrontational daughter who would now and then stand up to Mr Porteous; there seemed a kind of justice in the idea that he had produced a sprig quite as high-handed as himself. But my joy was short-lived; it quite evaporated indeed, when I saw the range and scale of Mr Porteous’s ‘little improvements’ at the manor house. It had possessed an endearing shabbiness before, but it shone now with the kind of magnificence that suggested many expert hands had been at work. “How has all this been achieved in so short a space of time?” I wondered aloud. And was not surprised when Frances told me that they had more or less dispensed with the services of Mrs Meade; who had not been dismissed, so much as gently pensioned off…

“We have a team who come in once a week now” Frances explained. “They undertake everything, French polishing and all – and of course it’s so much pleasanter for David, not having to encounter Mrs Meade in corridors, when he’s coming from the bathroom and that sort of thing..”

I wondered where Mrs Meade had actually gone; and was reassured to hear that she had not quite been cast alone into a hostile world, but set up with a nice little flat in Brighton, and what Frances described as “quite enough to live on, for the rest of her life.” The transformation seems to be complete therefore; and Mr Porteous has established himself on a footing at the manor house that can’t conceivably be undone.

The real surprise came for me right at the end of the visit however, when Frances remarked that of course she quite saw why everyone thought she had acted rather precipitately in all this.
“They think it won’t last, I know that.” she all unaccountably confided. “ But after all I don’t see why not. It’s not as if I expected his undying passion, you know. I think we’re both too old for that. But so long as he’s happy to stay with me - well it will be enough.”

I can’t quite explain why it was that I drew comfort from this little chance remark. There was sadness in it, as well as resignation. But there was a kind of wisdom too, that I hadn’t looked for in Frances. She seemed to have accepted her lot, yet kept her girlish dream intact. And one thing I knew for certain, that whatever else Mr Porteous might or might not be, for Frances he was neither quite Sir Lancelot nor the King.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

another very entertaining excerpt in the story!

aims said...

I couldn't help thinking how scandalized my mother would have been over Frances and Mr. P. A clergyman at that - living in sin!!
Of course she would have set up her bowl of popcorn and widened her eyes before diving head first into the pages....

Beatrice - it's so good - I just hate the waiting for the next post....

I'm off to search for the ability to email you....

debio said...

She doesn't expect 'undying passion' - well, that's just as well, it would seem.
Another triumph, iBeatrice; keep them coming.

Omega Mum said...

Mr P is definitely a bad lot. I am increasingly worried for Frances

Jan said...

THis is becoming a habit....reading this excellent story!

debio said...

Love these expressions, omega mum - bad lot, bounder, cad, libertine. (Sorry to interrupt, iBeatrice!).

Anonymous said...

The garden thing sounds awful, couldn't you contrive to have horse manure delivered and scattered about half an hour before its due to start - that would shorten proceedings ... and send them all on their way early.

merry weather said...

Ah, poor Frances.... think I know one just like her...

I Beatrice said...

Dulwich Mum left this comment:

Darling friend Beatrice,

Blog is the perfect way to be disciplined enough to write every day, and the perfect way to write a book. I intend to prove that point! I am not concerned by sales, I just think it is a wonderful creative and satisfying hobby. You are a wonderful writer, keep it coming

I Beatrice said...

Dear Dulwich Mum, It's so lovely to have you back on these pages again, especially when you have so many more thrilling and important things of your own going on!

Your comment is curiously timely too, because I am currently going through another crisis associated with the blog, and don't quite see my way out.

The thing about the blog method of writing a novel, is that the words are more or less set in stone the moment after you have posted them - so that ideas and insights that come later (such as the ones I am having now in connection with some of my characters) can't easily be written into the script.

If one were writing it as a novel in the old way, it would be able to grow and develop as one went along - and one could always go back to add, and amend...

This is the situation I find myself in at the moment. I've been writing the thing more or less 'on the hoof' - and only now, when it's too late, do I see where I've gone wrong and how I might put it right - if only there were an opportunity!

I hope you don't mind if I post your comment and my reply on my other page too - because it will perhaps explain certain little discrepancies which may now creep into the story. I had been wondering how I might explain - and then along you came, as if heaven-sent!

Please keep in touch! I shall be so fascinated to hear about your experiences as you go along.

Anonymous said...

You will notice I am the only one with any practical advice... you see I was right about Pammy and the hat now wasn't I?

aims said...

Dear B - a question - not related to Frances -

What are All Blacks please?

And - is it possible to post an 'addendum' to the story - which might 'correct' where you went wrong?? Or do you feel you went so far wrong that it is impossible to throw in a correction - perhaps a dream - or a 'what really happened' post??

I think we could all accept that quite easily - as this is a blog -

At least it isn't a non-fictional book - already printed (like the one that made so much history in the past little while) where everyone had to apologize - printers and writer alike - for steering the innocent public wrong ----- I think your fans are very accepting and forgiving of you - no matter what....

I Beatrice said...

To Anonymous: Thank you for continuing to read me. It really does seem as if you enjoy it - which has been one of the major miracles of the thing for me, since I had never dreamt for a moment that you would!
Ones' own family ... somehow they are the very last people whom one expects to be impressed!

I Beatrice said...

Aims dear: 1)I'd hate to be the cause of offending your mother! But a clergyman is only a man, for all that - some of them lately rather less than that, wouldn't you (and your mother) say?

2) The 'All Blacks' are the New Zealand national rugby team, known for their size and general invincibility. They start their matches by performing a Haka - which is a Maori (native NZder) War Dance, and generally strikes the fear of God in their opponents before the match has even begun. It has been my lot to be acquainted personally with some ABs, my very oldest and dearest friend having married one of the most distinguished All Black captains of all time. (Come to think of it though... I'm surprised they haven't been obliged to change their name by now - to something rather less offensive in the eyes of the Race Relations Board!)

3) So far as your other kindly and helpful comments go... well, I'm in process of writing a little piece on the other page which I hope will cover all the problems I'm just now experiencing with the telling of the tale.

I Beatrice said...

Debio - yes, poor Frances. I guess it is her lot in life to be loved more for the size of her house and the scale of her income, than for any feminine virtues she may possess. Her own little hour will come though, that I promise you!

I Beatrice said...

Omega Mum -I wonder if the further adventures of Mr P will do anything to redress the balance in his favour? Somehow I think probably not.

I Beatrice said...

And finally, Mutley.

Mutley, Mutley MUTLEY!
I've said it before and I'll say it again - you really are the most exasperating of men!

I mean - PAMMY? I thought you'd be glad that I was to allow her her hat this time though. But I truly hope it won't be one of her real 'stonkers' - I'm going to try to persuade her to carry a pretty little parasol as a matter of fact. That way, she can shade poor little Roland too, when required.

So far as the compost goes - well, it's a rotten idea, in my view. You may strew it in your own garden as much as you will, but please to keep it out of mine!

On the practical suggestion front though - perhaps you'll be able to tell me what to do about my shattered liquid crystal laptop screen? My husband had the misfortune to sit on the machine (no symbolic intentions, just a horrid accident!); and the damage is currently spreading by the hour......

He is mortified of course, and will probably buy me a new machine, if all else fails. Being so very far from wishing to squash my aspirations, as to have all unaccountably and miraculously become my number one fan!

I Beatrice said...

And to my dear and faithful friend Merry Weather - yes, I think we all have a Frances or two in our acquaintance. (I'm not so very far from being one myself, come to that!)

But it's as I said to Debio - her little shining hour is yet to come.

KarenO said...

Oh my, what a goldmine I've discovered! Been postponing coming to read your blog for reasons that sound so silly now - I wasted so much time!

About the words being cast into stone when you write a novel by way of this blog... I think it's incredibly exciting that this story has taken on a life of it's own. Now you just have to steer it creatively. Don't change too much about how it started, use your artistic tools and work with where it is taking you. And now I'm off to start reading everything that happened before this chapter! :)

merry weather said...

Uh-oh - spectacular computer mishap!!...what happens to the liquid crystal stuff? I feel sorry for both of you! Still, you should be able to claim for it? And get a cutting edge new one?....

Catherine said...

I shall look forward to Frances's moment. Perhaps I can get some tips from her in managing ruthless men.

I do love a good hat occasion. Not that I wear hats - they don't do anything for me - but I adore dressing up and having a suitable occasion for doing so.

I Beatrice said...

Marianne, I'm not sure Frances would be the one to ask - she must be your quintessential acquiescent female! (Phew - two long words in a row! Sorry about that. There was a certain {what do they call that figure of speech?} about it though, don't you think?)

When is your date by the way? Must be soon. Not a hat opportunity though, I daresay?

lady macleod said...

well you have become quite the celebrity author i beatrice, and all justly deserved. I am pleased at your success. You are a true word smith in the best tradition of Keats and Austen. You make the language do a minuet of sentence and phrase structure that is musical to the ear and soothing to the spirit. Well done, well done indeed.

I Beatrice said...

My dear Lady M, how generous you are with your praise!

Ah, but a love story like your own though? Now that, I think, would defeat me!

pluto said...

I really liked Frances' remarks at the end. And there's a lot of wisdom in them.

As for Mrs Meade, I wouldn't want to see her cast out onto the street, but did you have to give her a bloody flat and a salary for life? Lucky sod.

I Beatrice said...

Now come on Pluto, that's not like you! I know that in your generous heart of hearts you wouldn't begrudge a poor old gin-sodden widow her flat and pension!

I Beatrice said...

Andres carl sena left this comment on my "List of Characters" page:

I am starting over from the beginning. I feel i must in order to do your work justice. thanks

rilly super said...

that is what I am going to have to do too beatrice, start from the beginning, although I'm afraid that as often with novels on paper, time and other pressures mean I have learnt to enjoy the 'short dip' as much as the long swim, and just drift off elsewhere for a brief moment as I do with your story. This only works of course if someone has put their heart into the piece you read such that it's a delight to read on it's own, which you have and which your chapters are

I Beatrice said...

The comment page is becoming almost longer than the original blog (largely, I fear, on account of my own verbosity!). But I did just want to thank andres carl sena and Rilly Super very much for being interested enough to consider starting my piece from the beginning.

I feel so sorry for them though! Especially since it's such a long haul, and is likely to be a rather uneven experience. The thing grew from fairly small, vague beginnings you see, and seems to have gathered momentum, and altered a good deal, as it has gone along.

It has also to a certain extent been reader-driven - which has been fun, but has led to some unexpected departures from the original idea...

Mr Porteous, for example, was never going to be a villain! (Not sure that he is quite that even now of course - but who can say?)

Take it slowly therefore, is all I can say to these intrepid people! If it were the sort of thing that could be condensed into a short synopsis, I'd produce one for you on the spot. But alas, I don't seem to be that kind of story-teller..........

The "List of Characters" might help a little though, Rilly....
Meantime, I'm immensely flattered that you have come.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to have been so long answering - I have a few troubles of my own.. In regard to the screen - I would just chuck it away if I were you... and lets face it the manure would have sent them all on their way pretty sharpish. No one likes having all their neighbours tramping round the place do they?

I Beatrice said...

Chuck it away Mutley! Whatever can you mean? This beautiful machine cost a great deal of money - my elder son bought it for me as payment for my having proof-read his legal textbook!

I sweated blood over that book! The footnotes alone are on the encyclopaedic scale...... So there's no way I'm chucking my lovely machine out with the compost, I assure you!

No, it's down the Sony-repair/insurance route we're trying to go now.

(This should have been an email, shouldn't it? My comment page , I rather fear.)